Today in my diary, I started reminiscing about high school and how real the word "new" was to me back then. "It was an exhilirating lifestyle, perfectly summed up by exciting and carefree. All my significant first times piled into four years, experiencing everything with no memory of having done it in the past."
Then I started thinking about what life is, and how we slowly apply meaning to it with each first experience we give up. I know that's phrased oddly, but if you think about it, every time you try something new, you lose the chance to ever get that one first-time feeling again. I can still remember the first time I drove, how tightly I grasped the steering wheel and how slowly I took each turn. The first time I snuck out of a house, and the first time I got caught. Or the first time I really liked someone, and the first time I had my heart broken. At first I felt a little nostalgic but then I realized...I'm experiencing everything new all over again. I've recently delved into a life of 9-5's that I'm simply not used to. Of course, it's been a little frustrating and hard to adjust but new none the less. The thing is, experiencing something new in my life then and now feels different. I feel more stable and ready this time, and that's when it hit me, this is what it feels like to grow up. It's a sense a stability.... comfort...home. I've worked my entire life sculpting myself into who I am today, and yet all I can do is miss who I was in the past.
So, I'm setting a goal for myself. I'm going to step outside of my comfort zone, because I want feel "new" again.
Some photos dedicated to back in the day:
Then I started thinking about what life is, and how we slowly apply meaning to it with each first experience we give up. I know that's phrased oddly, but if you think about it, every time you try something new, you lose the chance to ever get that one first-time feeling again. I can still remember the first time I drove, how tightly I grasped the steering wheel and how slowly I took each turn. The first time I snuck out of a house, and the first time I got caught. Or the first time I really liked someone, and the first time I had my heart broken. At first I felt a little nostalgic but then I realized...I'm experiencing everything new all over again. I've recently delved into a life of 9-5's that I'm simply not used to. Of course, it's been a little frustrating and hard to adjust but new none the less. The thing is, experiencing something new in my life then and now feels different. I feel more stable and ready this time, and that's when it hit me, this is what it feels like to grow up. It's a sense a stability.... comfort...home. I've worked my entire life sculpting myself into who I am today, and yet all I can do is miss who I was in the past.
So, I'm setting a goal for myself. I'm going to step outside of my comfort zone, because I want feel "new" again.
Some photos dedicated to back in the day:
love love loveee this post.
ReplyDeletediaries are good for reminiscing :), even if I don't want to remember some memories.
these pics bring me back....wish we could go back and do it all over again